Revenant Resurrection

To recount from before...

So, your colleague got themselves dead. Not a problem, you've got the coin to donate for a resurrection. Problem is, there's no local temple with a priest powerful enough to raise the dead. And the body is getting a bit ripe.

What about that necromancer? You know, the woman with the unsettling stare and jars of preserved body parts? I'm sure she can do the job. Can't hurt to ask.

“Oh, certainly!” the necromancer says, her eyes scanning your deceased comrade. “Just like those god-fearing clerics do it, just without the pesky religious bits!” She meticulously checks the dead's eyes and wounds. She pokes at fingers and toes with needles seeking galvanic reactions. She accepts the payment.

“Oh, yes, just like the clerics!” She shoos you off, and giggling, retreats with your friend's body into a chamber filled with stinking reagents, clinking glassware, and rattling retorts.

In a week, your comrade is back.

In a manner of speaking.

Source

Revenant Resurrection*

You've been resurrected, untimely ripped from the afterlife via a necromancer's dark magics and possibly alchemical reanimations. You were not called back through the holy powers of a cleric and their congress with the divine. So you may not have gotten back with all of your soul.

You are not quite undead, but you have undead qualities.

The Positive:

• Undead resistances against mental spells and powers.
• You may subsist on half rations.

The Negative:

• Reduce your CON by 1d3 with each revivication. No more revivication at CON <= 3. 
• Having cheated death by these cheaty methods, you lose all divine connection. If you were a priest/cleric/divine class, choose new class (at Level -1).
• That said, no healing by divine methods. Natural healing or potions only.

Them's the breaks.

Oh, and extra rolls on the Reincarnation Side Effect Tables (One, and/or Two).

*This resurrection effect isn't dependent on any specific spell or other methodology, more a thought experiment (and possible flavor) for a PC brought back to life by means other than the divine. Enjoy. 

***

Oh, and Samuel Taylor of 3x5arcana.com made a call-out to my "Build-A-Bear" concept for monster generation in reference to their own 3x5 card-based simplified version. Thanks!

The Plague Doctor for Shadowdark

Yes, I'm sure there are a healthy handful of Shadowdark Plague Docs out there, all masked up and curing diseases, or whatever they do.

Oh no, this is a bad sign...

But since I've previously written up the class for OSR games and The Black Hack, might as well complete the triumvirate and gin one up for Shadowdark, as well. 

This one is built on the same chassis as my prior two, with similar focus and skills: non-magical healing, and they really hate rats. 

Download Me Here

Enjoy, comment, disparage, etc.

Now updated to Version 2.0 based on comment by u/noisician and recalling some other, similar game mechanics. Increased healing attempts based on allies, and consequences for a critical failure...

Download Me 2!

May RPG Blog Carnival Late Entry: Oaths - The Beguine/Beghard Class for OSE and Shadowdark

Ok, here we are on May 32, and I'm right on time to contribute to the month's Blog Carnival. This time hosted by Tabletop Curiosity Cabinet and themed, "Oaths." So let me share a small introduction to a historic religious community, as well as a player class (OSE and Shadowdark) inspired by them:

The beguines (and their male counterparts, the beghards) were religious lay-communities most active during the 13th - 16th centuries. While not formally monastic in nature, the members typically took vows, most commonly chastity, as well as of charity and religious devotion. Members were also able to quit the role, and return to secular life. 

The communities were typically self-supporting, with their members taking part in cottage industries. These beguinages could be as small as a shared house up to a walled compound. Larger examples contained shops, hospitals, breweries, and cloth mills.

Because many of the beguines came from middle- or upper-class backgrounds, many were literate and wrote treatises and poetry reflecting their faith and the visions that they experienced during contemplation and prayer. This mysticism was a common theme among the communities, as well as the idea of sharing these "visions" through religious or secular texts. Because these publications were outside the orthodoxy and independent of Church doctrine, they were often criticized or suppressed, with the most egregious example being the burning at the stake of Marguerite Porete as a relapsed heretic by the Inquisition.

After all, there is nothing more frightening than a financially independent, literate woman interpreting religious dogma.

The Lair of the Pale Toads

Last week, we were introduced to the Pale Toads. To expand on our new friends, they needed a lair, and a bit of a story as to why they have suddenly appeared along the edge of civilization, curious and adventuresome. 

AI Trigger Warning.

The Toads tire of lingering in their dim places, and, curious about those who explore their lands, seek to reach out and make contact. But in that vein, they need a leader to inspire them, and teachers to prepare them to interact with the outlanders.

Fortunately, our little community within the lair has both, and the Toads are ready to seek new lands and new allies. The old Queen seeks a greater calling and legacy for her folk. The priests commune with and teach of the great toad who brought them up. And instructors teach worthy toads the arts they will need to survive in the greater world and the rough language of the foreigners so that they may communicate.

This "adventure" is written more as a settlement or village, with its personalities and resources, than a "lair" to be murderhoboed. YMMV. 

The map was provided by Jean-Claude ''Raznag'' Tremblay. I've used one of his maps before, and have several more in the files awaiting the correct inspiration.

Anyway, welcome to the Lair of the Pale Toads. Try the swamp-beer.

Update: Got called out for the AI art, so I'll address it here, rather than getting into multiple discussions elsewhere. Yes, the Toad images are AI. I happened to find them whimsical and inspiring enough as prompts to write up a couple of posts worth of content. Because I write for fun, after all. This isn't a commercial or professional endeavor. I don't have delusions of adequacy when it comes to my writing. I just put it out there to keep my brain active, and perhaps someone will use a piece of mine at their table one day. And much of what I write here (eleven years of posts, 100+ adventures or scenarios, plus myriad other content) is found inspiration: A good map-space, a piece of history, a photo of an artefact, a scene in a book. But the writing is mine. 

Ironically, I didn't even "create" the Toads' art, but lifted it from Pale Toad's YouTube posts.  

Will I use AI art in the future? Likely not. It doesn't fit the esthetic of my writing and imagined game-space. And AI is considered anathema in plenty of creative spaces. Anyway, I'd rather hunt down an appropriate bit of Hannes Bok or piece of medieval marginalia to illustrate my little adventures or scenarios. The images I use on my posts are attributed to their sources, and anything that I do put up on DTRPG or similar is typically illustrated by either public domain art or purchased art from human creators. 

So, if for some reason this is the first time you've stumbled on my blog, I apologize if AI is your first impression. Feel free to peruse the nearly 650 posts that aren't AI content.

New Class and Ancestry: The Pale Toad

Trying to catch up on the creative work, drafts upon drafts. Certain other obstacles need to be overcome via other means.

Decoy computer, working computer 

So. The Pale Toads. Where did they come from?

Well, this channel came across my YooToob feed, offered by the inscrutable algorithms. OR because I listen to quite a bit of ambient or synthwave while working. Anyway, the channel's namesake AI-produced adventurer-toads needed a bit of a story, or at least to be statted up for some possible play.

Friendly little guy

Over the last seasons, the Pale Toads have arrived from unnamed swamplands and dank caverns, their skin pale from the dim lands that they tread. Their antediluvian eyes reflect wisdom and stoicism. They are curious for knowledge, to perhaps offer trade, or to join in an adventure. The Toads' outward waddling, awkward appearance vanishes with a powerful lunge or silent disappearance into the water.

The Hedge-Mage for Old Games and Shadowdark

Whew, its been a long time since I cobbled together a character class! Looks like the last time I dabbled in class creation was the Tabaxi...

That will not do.

So - a couple of things. First of all, I snuck in the "Hedge-mage" at the back of my Brindlegrit Gatehouse scenario, so it's likely that the class went unnoticed. So I wanted to pull it out as its own post.

Secondly, for anyone who's suffered through watching our Shadowdark sessions - If Bloggah the goblin mage happens to level up at the end of a session, I roll his new spells randomly. It just fits the character, and the fact that I enjoy the random nature of magic in Shadowdark (even if my colleagues in the game may not have similarly refined tastes).

So, expanding on that theme, we have the hedge-mage, an unschooled, or perhaps undisciplined, student of magic, who happens to pick up magic wherever and however they can. And therefore, randomly. If fact, they may even be unburdened by the constraints of magical schools or mechanics. Therefore, every spell that they own is rolled randomly.

It may not be to everyone's (or anyone's) taste. But magic should be random, mysterious, and somewhat out of control. That's my story and I'm sticking with it.

Anyway, here we have the Hedge-Mage for your generic Old School Funny Dice Game:

Download me!

And for Shadowdark... I formatted the language and table for SD, but didn't duplicate the layout and style because my design skills are one step above crayons and edible school paste.

Download me, too!

AND NOW, SHADOWDARK V. 2.0, updated after a couple of reader suggestions (plus a tweak to the OSR variant).

Slightly shady spellslinger by Nicholas Roerich.

A Visit to Brindlegrit Gatehouse

Jackson finally came out from under whatever rock he normally hides under with a new map. 

Sure, I haven't done a quick setting writeup for a bit. Well ok, for three weeks. 

The place looks like a run down bit of border wall, perhaps occupied by a handful of ne'er do wells and/or other colorful folk, pretending that they hold this section of a decaying trade road, abandoned by a power that no longer has the administration or reach to maintain its border posts.

So welcome to Brindlegrit Gatehouse.

The location is home to a few folks, looking to take advantage of the location. Accompanying the description is a list of possible happenings on the day that the party shows up. And a newish PC/NPC class, the Hedge Mage. 

As I've noted in my Shadowdark rundowns, I do enjoy a bit of randomness to my magic (no matter how much the other players whine about it). In fact, since Bloggah is described as a mage who doesn't exactly know how magic works, I select all of his spells randomly. So, expanding on that idea, the hedge mage is not a formal scholar of the magical realm, but a dabbler and collector. Therefore, all new magical spells come to them via a roll of the dice. And, sometimes, a bit of other brands of magic sneaks in, giving them some unexpected perks or abilities...

It's Christmas Eve, so Merry Christmas to you pagans who have adopted the holiday. It's been a challenging year behind the scenes at Leicester's Rambles HQ, but we're hanging in there, as is the way of my people. There has been some stability and joy buried within, so we are fortunate to be where we are at this time of life. 

So enjoy the holiday time, reflect on the year, look backward and forward, and take that deep cleansing breath. Or be like Betty. Relax, grab your Squishmallow, and let it all hang out.

Mini-Review: Old-School Feats, by Eric Diaz

In retro-clone games (or equivalent early-edition D&D), PCs don't have a significant number of traits or what may be considered “feats” outside of a few class- or species-specific qualities. Character customization is generally non-existent outside of role-play. And “builds” are non-existent (thank the dice gods.)

However, I like the idea of adding color or “knacks” to PCs, without over-building them, or making the feats “be” the character. After all, the character “build” should come through play and experience, with an emphasis on discovery rather than pre-design.

In Old School Feats, Eric Diaz has attempted to provide some options to differentiate characters within the classes without breaking the game or classes.

The feats in the supplement provide modest amendments to the four primary character classes (cleric-fighter-mage-thief). The feats don't “ladder,” that is, a prerequisite feat isn't required to select a subsequent feat. This is a good thing, as it avoids the “build” mechanic of later editions. Some feats are stackable, e.g. can be selected multiple times (These are typically associated with ability score improvement or similar).

The supplement feat lists are divided into “general” and class-specific feats. These are self-explanatory, but anyone can pick from the general list in addition to their respective class feats.

Fighters and thieves receive the most options to provide flavor to those particular classes (20 each), with clerics and magic-users having a more modest list of options. Several of the cleric and mage feats provide spell-like effects that could offset a single 1^st/2^nd level spell (e.g. limited bless or magic missile equivalents). Again, since these are low-level, and modest, they don't break anything.

The Tabaxi as an Old-School PC Class

User Sivinus at the OSR Pick-Up Games Discord server offered up to host a character class contest. 

It has been decided that we would run a contest to see who could make the best class! The way this contest works is that you sign up below and make a class, very simple. The start date (May 30th) is when you should have submitted your class and voting stars and the end date (June 2nd) is when voting closes. Anyone can join, the only requirement is that you sign up below and then make your own class, which you will submit by sending it @sivinus (me).

Good enough - I've done a few character classes in the past, some more serious than others. And it's a fun exercise to build out a class, typically with some help from random inspiration and some math help by Building a More Perfect Class.

And as much as I wanted to just enter The TechnoViking, I figured new class for new contest.

What to do... what to do...

Serendipitously, I've been perusing the Fiend Folio for some other inspiration on a writing prompt. And I noticed this somewhat familiar critter:

So yeah, the tabaxi have been around since 1981, but weren't an official character class until they were ported into the the current edition, as far as I can tell. There were a couple of other playable cat-folk races, but "tabaxi" as a player race appeared in 5e. And from occasional perusing of 5e actual plays - people apparently like to play cats.

Source

Ok, so back to the source material. I'm not a 5e player, so other than watching some cat PCs, I'm not a subject matter expert. But I do like to convert or create player classes back to B/X. And I have the Fiend Folio.

So here we go.

Cat - so obviously a DEX-based race. The "tabaxi rogue" is pretty much redundant. Let's grab some elements from the FF, and just because, add some climbing/falling qualities for a feline. 

Let's let this cat out of the bag...

The Dragonborn for your Old School Tastes.

Well, haven't been creating for a bit. After the winter 'break' of entertaining myself during flight cancellations, I started a new job. While still burned out from the last one. So it's been an adjustment, retooling myself to a different clientele and returning to a business sector I haven't worked in for a few years. And having to commute more than 20 feet. The Horror.

So my brain has not been in a creative space. I owe a review, and I have a couple of notebook pages of a mini-adventure outlined out. But that's all that's been rattling around up there, mostly.

Ok, get to work, you. 

Character class revisions and reinterpretations are always fun. So let's return to the Dragonborn. I previously ginned one up for The Black Hack, but realized that I hadn't modded up the race for the B/X-OSE rulesets. An obvious oversight.

www.deviantart.com/savedra

The Grumpy Old Man character class

This came to me as I woke up this AM. So I had to write it down. And share. Sorry about that.

A friend was lamenting the impending passage into dotage with the purchase of a pair of readers. Welcome to the club, dude.

Oh look, time for a new pair of readers

Which must have inspired my morning meditations on that neighborhood terror, the Grumpy Old Man.

A dynamic duo for the ages

Anyway, I'm not sure how many of us get characters to name level/retirement age. Mine seem to get retired early in the depths of some labyrinth. But I'm sure it happens. And while one may aim to build a domain, lord over some vassals, and make a name for themselves, I'm sure that plenty of others are happy to hang up the spurs or spellbooks and just tend a garden, rock on the front porch, and complain about the kids and their too-loud lute music. 

So bask in the glory that is the convertible character class, the Grumpy Old Man. Simply take your 10th level PC, change their class to G.O.M., and park them on their porch.

Get off my lawn!

Ok, well, if someone askes nicely, they may step off to totter out and help out with a local problem.  Bulettes in the field, dragon eating sheep, necromancer defiling the graveyard. But don't ask much, because it's Tuesday, and that's the Early Bird Special at the pub.  

They're tough, they know stuff, and they are not ones to suffer fools. And don't you dare track across the lawn. They just mowed it.

Hmmf!

(Updated 15/5 - minor edits to character description and immunities)

Moar Minotaur. And the Shaman class!

Well, figured I should give my minotaur the Advanced Version of ye olde game treatment, and give them a little class, or classes, as well. So here's our bovine friend kitted out for 1e/OSRIC/OSE Advanced Fantasy/etc. 

Download Me

Gave them the fighter and thief, of course, because apparently anyone can do that. And barbarian, because uncivilized. But felt like I needed a bit of a spellcaster too. Not being satisfied to just toss them the cleric/druid class, I wanted to perhaps give them something a bit hybrid. So the shaman class came to be. Now I know that there are likely plenty of shaman/witch/druid/nature-priest classes out there, but why not one more? 

Besides, I had this guy for inspiration:

www.deviantart.com/eoghankerrigan

The Minotaur Player Class

Well, I haven't done up a character class in entirely too long, so a quick and dirty writeup of that labyrinth denizen and antagonist of disoriented heroes everywhere: The Minotaur! 

by www.deviantart.com/calebcleveland

(Made up for OSE-B/X, or similar old-school flavored games)

HD: D8

Saves: As dwarf

Allowed armor: Light or medium, shields

Allowed Weapons: Single or two-handed melee

Requisites: STR, CON 12

Prime Attribute: STR/CON

A denizen of the labyrinths and dark, twisting places, your chimeric, monstrous appearance keeps you on the edge of the civilized world. 

Unless, perhaps, some serious muscle is needed, a spectacle is demanded for the gladiator ring, or a party needs someone who does not get turned about in the underground. And then, who do they call? Your bull-headed self of course... Hulking and outcast, you tend to be a loner, but will join up if the coin is good and the maze is worthy of your nose for direction.

Your native habitat is the mazes and winding passages, either engineered or natural. You have an inherent sense of direction underground, and can readily track back to the last known exit or passage to a level change.

You’re a big boy (or girl). Your height is six feet+1d12 inches (watch your head). Armor costs 25% more to fit your majestic physique. That bullishness, though, has made you tough as nails. Add your CON bonus to your armor class.

You much prefer to get up close and personal for bashing, stabbing, and slashing, so missile weapons are not on your shopping list. That said, you can use two-handed weapons single-handedly. 

That whole man-eating thing is a myth... Isn't it? Whatever. You can forgo your weapon attack to bite or gore (1d6 damage) an opponent.

You may be big, but you're surprisingly light on your feet. You may move silently in the tunnels as a thief of the next higher level.

And, of course, you can see in the dark (infravision to 60'). Not much good underground otherwise, eh?

Download the maze-runner here (includes XP table and Move Silently matrix)

The Dragonborn for the Black Hack

Still here, still essential, so out and about in the big scary world now and then. Picked up a couple of online games with various folks, so that's been a fun distraction, as well...

Hope all of you are staying healthy and relatively sane, as well.  Good thoughts to all, folks.

And as CoronaCon2020 goes on, I convert another of the darlings of 4e/5e, the Dragonborn, over to The Black Hack...

https://www.deviantart.com/mattplog

Because why not? Because you want to play a big sexy fire-breathing brute! Yes.. you...

DOWNLOAD ME

Here, our Black Hack version's d6 table is, naturally, the scale color and breath weapon of the PC. I bonused their physical attack a bit to reflect their size, but avoided giving them a 'dealer of death' type skill, particularly because of their having the breath weapon. They do get a bit of extra resilience to draw on for valient last stands and the like, which allows for some cinematic play. And Dragonborn PCs can use their appearance and bearing to their advantage in RP or interpersonal situations.

So try one on for size, and have fun. Let me know if a Dragonborn makes their way into your Black Hack game.

https://www.deviantart.com/ivannamatill

The Lizardfolk for Black Hack

A few years back I wrote up a Lizardfolk as PC class for Swords & Wizardry (or similar oldish-style game rules), while playing around with the rules set and some race/class generation templates.

Since I'm currently playing a bit of The Black Hack, I did the scan for the class again, just for fun.  Although there are a few supplements with new old races available, I don't find their presentation to be as flavorful or evocative as the format of the original game.

In the original four game book character classes, each is provided with a a d6 'flavor' table, two options for starting kit, and roughly three to four class-specific skill sets/characteristics. So when I made up my "Whack Hack" batch of random character classes, I tried to emulate that original style as closely as possible. Each class should have their "special thing" without making them too out of line with the game style and other classes.

And I happen to have an affinity for B/X-ish race-as-class. So my lizardfolk are fearsome warriors, with an odd spiritual connection to their god, "Old Croc." Old Croc gives you a random spell each day. You don't know what it will be. It may be Speak with Animals or it could be Raise Dead. Who knows? After all, ineffable ancient reptile gods have their own agendas and premonitions. And lizardfolk are good swimmers, of course.

Download me

So when you need a slightly monstrous warrior to wander into town, seeking adventure and fortune among the "monkeys," try a lizardfolk on for size.

New Black Hack classes...

Hi all - just uploaded to DrivethruRPG my take on eight classes for The Black Hack: Alchemist, Bard, Monk, Ninja, Plague Doctor, Ranger, Tiefling, and Warlock.

I tried to emulate David's original tone and style, as well as make each class simple and unique as befitting the game. 

PWYW on DriveThru -
https://www.drivethrurpg.com/product/290768/The-Black-Hack-Whack-Classes

So take a look and throw a coin in the tip jar if you are so inclined.  Thanks!

I also uploaded a significant revision to my homage to B1, "Vobleavira Haven Complex"
https://www.drivethrurpg.com/product/279317/Vobleavira-Haven-Complex

I added encounters, cleaned up some text and consistency, and hopefully made this an improved and more playable product.

The Plague Doctor Class for Old-School RPG Shenanigans

Time for another goofy character class, because I've been reading history, and why not?

The Plague Doctor!

Plague doctors 'treated' victims of the bubonic plague in medieval Europe. Well, treat may be a strong word - more like attempt ineffective cures, and mostly keep an accurate account of the dying.... They were hired by the cities and municipal authorities, and were charged to treat everyone, regardless of their station in life.

But there's that whole mask thing... The raven-like close-fitter mask with aromatic herbs filling the "beak." Believed to protect the wearer from bad humours, and airborne "miasma," the iconic mask did little more than subdue the smell of disease and death, and give its wearer their intimidating appearance.  Exposed to disease, famine, and other maladies, plague doctors succumbed to the disease at similar rates as their "patients."

So why would you want to play one of these medical quacks? Maybe you need to shill some snake oil, move with impunity through quarantines, or even effect a real cure now and then.  Whatever the case, strap on that mask, don your coat and hat, and go cure some plague!

DOWNLOAD

And, because I've been playing The Black Hack with Matt Jackson and few other miscreants - have a custom class for that grotty system (review upcoming!).

Now part of the Whack Hack collection of PC classes!

And here, have some Mono, Inc. to get you in the mood for rocking your bad Plague Doc self.

Edit: Per a couple of comments, this class could be folded into a low fantasy or 'no cleric' environment.  Using the OSR variant, perhaps lend them the healing kit from the BH version.  Or even play up the charlatan aspect, and let the player choose one thief skill. Have fun!

Edit 2: Black Hack version re-uploaded with latest version, consistent with thumbnail image.

The Oneiromancer Class

I really need to keep up on my writing projects.  This one languished way too long as a random list of scribbled notes, then various drafts on the drive. 

Anyway, here's an arcanist who works and plays in the world of sleep, along with a short selection of spells particular to the subclass...

"An arcane student of sleep- and dream-manipulation, the Oneiromancer dwells in the unreality of the unconscious, effecting dream manipulation, recuperative spells, augury and the potential manipulation of outcomes..."

Posted up for free/PWYW on RPGNow for your review.  Enjoy!

Back to Inktober scribbles...

Lihiy Div (Marsh-men) for your old-school gaming joy

One of our favorite neighborhood haunts is a Russian-themed bar owned, in part, by an emigre, and where we often find ourselves eating potatoes and dumplings, drinking Baltika, and watching Russian movies. The ironic thing is that the subtitles are also in Russian, so most plot interpretation is via inference. One of the rotating films on the playlist is the Tale of Tsar Saltan based on a poem/fairy tale by Alexander Pushkin.

Anyway, a plot hook to remove the Tsar from his capital involves going to war against this bunch of clownish marsh-dwelling folk.

For all the set-up and pomp, they are fairly easily defeated by putting the marsh grasses to the torch and some rather comical cannon-fire. In the end, hostages are freed and several of the marsh-men who didn't beat a hasty retreat are ended up captured...

(Pardon me if I don't have a correct name for these miscreants – They aren't named in the film, and my usual Google-fu prowess came up with limited info – so they are named for wild men of the marshes in Ukrainian lore....)

Lihiy Div (Marsh-man)
HD: 1+1
AC: 7 [12]
Atk: 1 weapon (1d6+1)
Move: 12
Save: 17
AL: C

Periodically erupting from the marshes at the edge of civilization, the Lihiy Div bands are stunted, primitive humanoids.  Their appearance is almost a parody, appearing to be swathed in marsh grasses and furs, and almost headless, with bulging eyes, although this may be a mask worn to frighten foes and increase their own morale. Low-technological, they will tend to be armed primarily with bone and wood weapons. While Lihiy Div primarily raid farms and similarly poorly-defended areas for foodstuffs and livestock, they will occasionally kidnap people for unknown rites or sacrifice. 

Lihiy Div may be typically encountered in groups of 12-24 raiders with a 3rd to 5th level leader (60% fighter/40% shaman).  However, on rare occasions, larger congregations of the marsh-folk will form for raiding and kidnapping, although the impetus for these eruptions from the marshes is not clear.

 ***

Ok, so what if you want to run a PC as one of these illiterate, hide-and-grass wearing yahoos?

Lihiy Div 
Requisites: None
Prime: WIS
HD: D6
Move: 12

Advance/save as cleric.

You speak your own, guttural language, and may speak a max of two others at a competency of pidgin to simple conversational, with no written knowledge/literacy.  And math is hard!  You can count to ten.

You are proficient in the simple weapons of the hunter-gatherer: dagger (stone), club (wood or bone), spear (stone), staff, hand axe (stone), and sling. As a “primitive,” you eschew steel.  However, you can craft exceptionally keen blades of stone/glass that cause +1 damage to unarmored/lightly armored opponents.  You may create 1d6 of these per day, depending on available resources.  The 'blade' may be a dagger, spear point, or axe blade. 

Allowed armor includes hide (leather) armor, and perhaps a wood/rattan shield.

You maintain a healthy suspicion and fear of magical forces: +2 vs magic
You've eaten some weird shit and drank nasty water: +2 vs poison/disease

Lihiy Div with Wis >15 may be attuned with Nature and may cast druid spells at -1 level if desired.  You may use a magic item usable by a druids.  You may use potions, but must save vs. poison for them to be effective.

Option: Perhaps you don't want to be a simple mud-footed marsh-dweller.  You can pick/roll a Favored Terrain to be a simple dweller from elsewhere... In your “home” terrain, you have only a 15% chance of becoming lost. You have a 3 in 6 chance to provide sustenance for yourself per day, and a 2 in 6 chance to provide sufficient victuals for a party. This increases by one per five levels. Pick/roll one, PCs with a WIS>15 may choose a second:
1. Plains
2. Forest
3. Mountains
4. Tundra
5. Jungle
6. Desert

A silly character class - The TechnoViking

Sure.  Why not take an 18 year-old meme and class it up in the style of +James West?

The Man, the Myth, the Machine

I mean, how many stat-worthy talents and abilities do we witness within this span of 4 minutes of viral glory?  Stepping up and making some bro back off of a blue haired girl, random dude handing him a water bottle, intimidating some jackoffs, and, of course, bumping and dancing his way through the streets with abandon... All while shirtless, ripped, blond, and wearing a Thor's Hammer pendant.

Download this dancing machine!

From a writing perspective, it probably took me as long to make up the level titles as the class itself. And I have a few random Nordic words added to the vocabulary...

And speaking of James- if you haven't checked out his 'Black Pudding' zine, you are missing out on some great art, creativity, and general old-school insanity.  He has collected Volumes #1-4 into a Heavy Helping of fun, and Black Pudding #5 recently hit the virtual shelves...

Happy Labor Day weekend to my fellow Americans.  Get out and play!