Saturday, December 4, 2021

The Grumpy Old Man character class

This came to me as I woke up this AM. So I had to write it down. And share. Sorry about that.

A friend was lamenting the impending passage into dotage with the purchase of a pair of readers. Welcome to the club, dude.

Oh look, time for a new pair of readers

Which must have inspired my morning meditations on that neighborhood terror, the Grumpy Old Man.

A dynamic duo for the ages

Anyway, I'm not sure how many of us get characters to name level/retirement age. Mine seem to get retired early in the depths of some labyrinth. But I'm sure it happens. And while one may aim to build a domain, lord over some vassals, and make a name for themselves, I'm sure that plenty of others are happy to hang up the spurs or spellbooks and just tend a garden, rock on the front porch, and complain about the kids and their too-loud lute music. 

So bask in the glory that is the convertible character class, the Grumpy Old Man. Simply take your 10th level PC, change their class to G.O.M., and park them on their porch.

Ok, well, if someone askes nicely, they may step off to totter out and help out with a local problem.  Bulettes in the field, dragon eating sheep, necromancer defiling the graveyard. But don't ask much, because it's Tuesday, and that's the Early Bird Special at the pub.  

They're tough, they know stuff, and they are not ones to suffer fools. And don't you dare track across the lawn. They just mowed it.


(Updated 15/5 - minor edits to character description and immunities)


  1. Good lord, this is pure genius. Makes me want to run a game of just old codgers, out to save the day when the young whipper snappers have dicked it all up.

    Also, glad I could be an inspiration for you. ;-)

    1. Just be glad I didn't use your readers selfie as the character illustration.

  2. I'm keen on this.

    Remembering the beloved village elder being 4th level on the AD&D 1e assassination table notes. "Try to poison me, willya?"

  3. I can commiserate, recently got my first pair of readers as well...

  4. This is a great one! I want to drop this in as an option in my next B/X game. I love the immunity table...

    1. Hi, thanks! Your Black Pudding classes have been inspirations for the content and tone of several of my classes... I need to come up with a new one - been a while.