Thursday, July 26, 2018

Henry Justice Ford Monster Manual - Black Pig

Another minor contribution to Eric Nieudan's collaborative project.

Who doesn't like a pig in an apron?

Black Pig

Armor class: As leather and shield
Hit dice: 2
Move: walk, run as human
Attack: Bite 1d6+1
Appearing No. : 1
Moral: 6
Treasure : none
Alignment: Neutral

Black Pigs are creatures enchanted by certain wood-witches to care for their hovels and cook for them.  Many adventurers, upon stumbling into a wood-witch residence, are confounded to discover a pig in an apron, scurrying about, cooking and cleaning…  The pigs are intelligent, but unable to communicate.  However, they are obliged to be good hosts, efficiently providing refreshment and/or preparing a meal.

Many visitors are taken aback by this sorcery, but woe be to any who may kill a treasured Black Pig…  All in the party will likely be cursed, and whoever dealt the killing blow will discover themselves in a porcine body, wearing an apron…

Written for Eric Nieudan’s The Henry Justice Ford Monster Manual Project. This monster ('Black Pig') is released under this license https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

Friday, July 20, 2018

Henry Justice Ford Monster Manual - Serpent-King

Another one....

Sundosiaya, the Serpent-King:

Armour class: as plate
Hit dice: 12
Move: normal, crawl
Attacks: bite (2d8+poison)
No. Appearing: 1
Morale: 10
Treasure: 4000 gp, 1d4+1 random potions, 1d2 wands
Alignment: Neutral
Special: 4 spells/day, 1st to 3rd level Cleric

King Sundosiaya reclines coiled in his chambers, huge and ageless.  The massive serpent is experienced, wise, and quite lonely.  A failed bargain with a demon prince long ago trapped the once-impetuous prince in this reptilian body.  He sighs, flicks a discarded crown with his tail, and contemplates old magics and philosophies.


This age does come with some benefits.  His council is greatly sought after, and human leaders jockey for his favor and advice, believing Sundosiaya to have divine (or demonic) wisdom and powers to grant good fortune.

And as a tribute, the human King Eldias has provided Maeve, his own second daughter, as companion and consort to the Serpent-King.  She stood, quaking at the door of his chambers as the king’s guards beat a hasty retreat.  Tales of this wise and terrible beast who causes royalty to prostrate itself before him give them reason to not tarry.  After all, he is said to be a demon prince, and Maeve’s likely fate is to be consumed by his base, reptilian instinct…

Expensive tapestries and other trappings drape around his sturdy bed.  Chests of treasure peek out from corners and nooks, past bribes and tributes to the reptile.  Sundosiaya languidly raises his head.  “Come here, child. It has been centuries since a young lady such as yourself has graced my chambers.”  He lets out a hissing chuckle.  “I was, after all, quite the gadabout in my youth….”  His ancient, ophidian eyes go distant, and Maeve sees hint of a surprising sad warmth in them.

Trust is earned slowly, and in fit and starts, as in all these tales.  Each day Maeve comes and sits with the King.  Initially her chair is in the farthest corner of his chambers, and she perches on it, as a squirrel ready to dart from a hound.  He talks, telling tales of his age, of visitors, both wise and foolish.  He does not care if she listens.  Eventually, the chair gets moved closer, and she asks questions.  Clarifications of stories.  Explanations of old mysteries.  Opinions on holy tracts.

And she finally asks about his form.  Sundosiaya sighs, pauses, and tells her how he, as a foolish, haughty young prince, believed that he could outwit one of the demons in exchange for wisdom and power.  But the demon was vastly older, and had heard similar requests before.  And he twisted the prince’s request to be ‘clever as a snake’ into something much more terrible….

Now she sees the prince’s eyes under the heavy scaled brows for the first time.  She sits on the edge of his bed, takes his massive, fanged head in her arms, and tenderly strokes the cool scales.

“So,” Sundosiaya whispers, “old King Eldias as pawned his second daughter off on me.”  It is Maeve’s turn to sigh. “Yes, I know the ways of the world – the firstborn gets the land, the dowry, the advantageous marriage.  And you, the second, find yourself with some rude dowry or a commission to the convent…  Or left to be eaten by the dragon…”  They both laugh now.

“So, because he was a fool to doubt your value, but because he did give me the gift of a worthy companion, let me teach you a few things…”

And thus, when Eldias passed on, Maeve the Forgotten, consort to the Serpent-King, returned to the capital, deftly deposed her elder sibling, and ruled, wise and fair.

Written for Eric Nieudan’s The Henry Justice Ford Monster Manual Project. This monster ('Serpent-King') is released under this license https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

edited for format

Henry Justice Ford Monster Manual - 'Old Eric'

This popped up on my feed: +EricNieudan has suggested a Monster Manual based on the illustrations of Henry Justice Ford. Looks like a number of bloggers have posted up.

It's a slow Friday at work, so here's an eponymous hazard in local waters for Eric's project.

Old Eric:



Armour class: as chain & shield
Hit dice: 4
Move: normal, swim, walk
Attacks: 2 claws (1d8 ea)
No. Appearing: 1
Morale: 6
Treasure: none
Alignment: Chaotic
Special: Call Wave (1/day)

A horned fish-man, referred to as ‘Old Eric’, or the Devil of the Tidelands, lurks among the rocky inlets, waiting to prey on unwary fishermen. His dull grey-blue scales blend into the shallows as he lurks about, stalking and peering at the world through luminous, opaline eyes. Vestigial, spiny wings sprout from his shoulders, perhaps remnant of some demonic ancestry.

While ‘Eric’ consumes fish, his favored prey is man, and a solo fisherman in a small boat is a tempting morsel. Once a day, he may call up a single large wave, capable of swamping a rowboat or similar low craft. A favorite technique is to swamp a boat, then grapple the fisherman to his doom as they are distracted and bailing the water.

While multiple bounties have been placed on Old Eric, he has, to date, evaded capture or harm from the awkward air-breathers who trespass the waters of his lurk.

Written for Eric Nieudan’s The Henry Justice Ford Monster Manual Project
This monster ('Old Eric') is released under this license: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

edited for format

Tuesday, July 17, 2018

Who/what has followed the party?

As the party travels, they may pick up a hanger-on or two - perhaps they have gained some notoriety, or some opportunistic individual(s) hope to join for fortune or easy pickings, or just something following you for reasons of its own...  Some may be almost helpful.  Regardless, they're at least one more mouth to feed...
Hans Sebald Beham, Baggage train and camp followers. 1530
It started at d20, then d30 - we'll see where it ends up...
  1. Farm boy/girl with adventuresome aspirations.  50% chance to be carrying a random weapon in disrepair, 20% chance to be wearing poorly fitted and mis-matched armor.
  2. Dog(s) 1d4.  25% of some useful training (herding, guard, hunting), 2% chance blink dog, 5% chance Really Good Dog, otherwise just begging cur.
  3. Cat.  Of no use whatsoever.  Gloms onto the party member most likely to dislike cats and/or be allergic.
  4. Half-wit:  Strong, at least.  Can lift/carry heavy things.  Doesn't complain.  Obsessively happy.  No matter what you tell them your name is, they call you Seymour.
  5. A goblin.  Cloyingly sycophantic. 25% chance to have useful info on next subterranean dungeon entered.  33% chance that they'll betray you.
  6. Tinker: May repair tools, footwear, tack/harness.
  7. Asshole pixie/fairy.  Mostly just insults you and causes additional wandering monster checks. Tries to steal your shit.
  8. Ascetic/pilgrim convinced that you are chosen ones seeking a greater good/calling.  20% chance of healing knowledge (40% divine:60% herbal/practical).
  9. A scavenging critter. 1) Vulture; 2) raccoon; 3) coyote/jackal; 4) gelatinous cube.
  10. Some damn sneak-thief masquerading as a porter.
  11. A baby monster that has imprinted on you: 1) ankheg; 2) bulette; 3) wyvern; 4) giant spider; 5) axe beak; 6) giant lizard; 7) ogre; 8) owlbear; 9) mimic; 10) rust monster.
  12. A ghost or spirit: 20% chance that it will attempt to possess a member of the party.
  13. Weird witch.  Constantly prophesying.  Even a broken clock is right twice a day.
  14. 1d4 crows or 1d2 ravens.  50% chance to mimic sounds/voices.
  15. A bored or hidden royal looking to hit the road on the down-low.
  16. A flock of songbirds.  Feels like a Disney cartoon.
  17. A prostitute looking for a john/jane.  Roll on Gary's 'Random Harlot' table.
  18. Invisible stalker.  Not looking to kill anyone or complete a task. Just stalking.
  19. A narrator.  Breaks 4th wall.
  20. A goddamned bard.  Constantly makes up limericks about the party.  
  21. A monkey wearing a fez and a vest. Throws poo.
  22. Industrial Revolution-vintage chimney sweep/bootblack/newsy.  Calls you 'guvner.'
  23. Someone else's summoned demon.  Looks around confused, shrugs, says "What the hell," and joins you.
  24. Odin.
  25. An automaton/robot.  60% magical/40% technological.  Follows simple commands.  May have mission of its own or observing.  
  26. Cook with collection of pots and pans.  Makes quite a racket.  10% awful; 20% substandard fare, palatable; 40% chance that they are actually competent; 20% above average; 10% chance that they are phenomenal.
  27. Dyslexic surveyor/mapper. 30% chance to mix up north.
  28. A Warbear.
  29. Naturalist and collector of specimens.  Has a bindle of notebooks and jars with preserved plants and animals.  Bores party members describing the differences between the greater and lesser lace-winged stirge.
  30. Backup singers/dancers. Fabulous. Wearing feather an/or real boas....

Rowlandson, Thomas, "Soldiers on a march.:
'To pack up her tatters and follow the drum' " (1811)
And because everyone is doing it - here's the Chartopia version...

Tuesday, July 10, 2018

Mucous dragon

This is Ella (the other cat in the house who isn't Max).  Yes, she looks all sweet and innocent.  Yes, she's being cute here.  Yes, she's baby-seal soft and cuddly (on her terms, she is a cat, after all).


Don't let that fool you.

Because, as far as we can tell, this cat's skull cavity consists of a mucous gland.  We've seen vets, given her different medications, experimented with diet and supplements.  Nope - this is Snotcat. It's chronic as far as we can tell.  I suspect she has a cat allergy.  However, we have found citrus-based cleaners to be most effective at removing cat snot from various surfaces.

Unfortunately, she also has the tendency to sleep on my head.  Which means I occasionally get sneezed on in the middle of the night, necessitating a clean pillowcase.

"Worst breath weapon ever," said the wife.  Yup...

The Mucous Dragon:

Living in the dark, humid subterranean places, the mucous dragon may appear to be a stunted, malformed relative to its more graceful and intimidating brethren. Pudgy, with blunt, webbed toes, it looks like it should be lazing in a pool somewhere. The dragon is sheathed in a opalescent, almost translucent hide, typical for its lightless, subterranean environs.  Bulbous eyes regard interlopers into its lair, and over-sized nostrils dominate its snout.